Orphan
by Pantz
Summary: You've become an icon, a symbol of hope.


**_Disclaimer: Everything from HP books belongs to JK Rowling_**

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**_Orphan_**

You sometimes imagine that they're alive and with you right now. You can make yourself believe, even just for a second, that your parents are in the kitchen making breakfast and reading the newspaper. You always walk down the stairs and into the kitchen as slow as possible. There's always those three minutes where you feel unbelievably happy because your dreams have a chance to become true.

You never met them though. You never saw your mother's vibrant red hair and never saw the likeness between you and your father. You were never taken out in the yard when you were a boy and taught how to ride a broom. You were never read bedtime stories and when you were eleven no one was there to wish you well in your first year of school. You're alone, you think, and as much as you hate it you sometimes believe it's all their fault.

You look around your room and as you stand by the mirror you push away some of Dudley's discarded video games. This life you live now is their fault. They left you, you think, they stopped fighting at the most important time, gave up during the biggest gamble. You always imagine what if. What if they didn't die? What if Voldemort went to another house on Halloween? Picked another boy for the fate you now have? What if you grew up with a mother and a father instead of your aunt and Uncle who abused you for most of your adolescence? You wonder, would you love them as much as you do right now?

You do love them. Yes, you blame them for not being here. You hate them for dieing and leaving you alone, but you love them. You have a luxury many children don't have. Your parents are made into perfection into your mind and you can imagine the perfect life because of it. You don't care to hear the bad, the ugly. You don't want to know about the hate your mother once felt or that your father was once an arrogant git. To you they're your parents. Your wonderful amazing parents who were taking away from you before you got a chance to know them. You love them. You love their pictures and the stories you hear. You love that image in the Mirror of Erised and the award your father has in the trophy case. You love the images of him flying in the air and your mother cheering him on. You love those pictures in your albums of two blissfully happy lovers. But is it really them that you love?

You have this flawless picture in your mind of who your parents are and you wish every night that they were with you. You want that mother with the sweet smile and the father with the laugh you imagine would be irresistible. You want that image of the perfect family you have to become reality and if you could tell them one thing right now it would be "I love you". If they were here with you right now, even for just a short time, you would swallow your anger and make everything…perfect. You're a boy who's surrounded by pain and betrayal and you turn away from your duty to stare at a star and naively wish for your perfect parents, your perfect family.

You're a strong person and nobody can argue against that point. You would have to be strong to get through what you do daily and people can truthfully say they've never met anyone braver or with more loyalty then you. You've become an icon in this world, their symbol of hope. You have fame and fortune and those are many thing people die for. You have a good life in some ways you think. You have Ron and Hermione and Dumbledore will always be there for you. You have Ginny and Remus and millions of witches and wizards who care. Your famous and rich and it's you who makes Draco seethe with jealousy daily, you who will save this world from destruction. But you know that you would give everything up if you could see your parents one last time. In the end it doesn't matter if you're their hero, the boy who lived. In the end you'll always be the hopeless orphan dreaming about what could have been.

End

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